Virtual Mediation can help smooth the holidays.

Divorcing couples or recently divorced couples commonly experience some sadness over the holidays. If they have young children the feelings of loss and grief can be even greater. Underlying these feelings of holiday loss and sadness are often deeper layers of emotions including the frazzled feelings from shopping and gift giving, frustration from dealing with crowds and traffic, and pressure from attempts to fit everything in and from well meaning attempts at people pleasing.

The logistics of the holiday season are difficult enough for a married couple and are sometimes too much for a recently separated couple. Sometimes the hurt and disappointment flares up and the couple just cannot sort it out, especially with the time pressure which occurs during the holidays.

Virtual Mediation is available to resolve these difficulties. I recently worked with a couple who thought they had their Christmas visitation schedule set. And it was a good start, so far as it went. Their problem was that they had not realized the entirety of the logistical challenge they faced. When they had to sort out who was picking up and dropping off the kids, and where, and at what time things began to break down.

When they saw that each parent had their own nuclear families’ schedule to consider as well, they reached an impasse and their emotions began to escalate.

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Fortunately, as a neutral mediator, I am not emotionally attached to any outcome and not advocating for any one side. I have helped couples navigate hundreds of holiday schedules and can often foresee pitfalls that the couple might overlook. I can bring these issues up in a way that is seen as helpful rather than critical or hostile as often occurs when their soon be ex-spouse brings them up.

I can help things remain calm when personality difference surface (for example when one spouse likes a tight schedule while another prefers to go with the flow or one partner spends a lot of money on holidays and the other is more frugal and so forth).

In the case mentioned above we were able to schedule an appointment on short notice. With my experience as a mediator to assist them they were able to resolve all the details in time for them to have the best holiday experience possible given their pending divorce.

Keep this in mind for your family as the holiday season approaches.